Get all 11 Ninja Sex Party releases available on Bandcamp and save 10%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of These Nuts, The Very, Very, Very, Very Classy Acoustic Album, Level Up, The Prophecy, Under the Covers, Vol. III, Cool Patrol, Under the Covers Volume II, Under The Covers, and 3 more.
1. |
Intro (These)
00:39
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2. |
Get Ready (To Get Ready)
03:05
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The lights go down, the crowd starts to scream
You can feel it in the air, electric energy
We’re revving up our engines, and the dam’s about to burst
I’ve just got a couple of emails that I need to knock out first
We’re all backstage
‘Bout to start the show
Just gotta do a few things
Then we’re ready to go
So get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Cause we’re almost about to rock
We’re gonna make you scream
Eventually
Just wait and see
Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready
We’ll be on stage in a second, just a few things we gotta do
Gotta make the setlist, wash the guitars, and bathe the entire crew
Gonna play with all my Legos and then we’ll eat some snacks
Drop Ninja Brian off for his Brazilian wax
Drink some gas so we can play real fast
And then you better hold on to all of your ass!
We’re gonna crush this show
Just a few more steps
Nothing says rock like meticulous prep
So get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Cause we’re almost about to rock
We’re gonna chill your spine
And blow your mind
All in due time
Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Ladies and gentleman, are you ready to get FUCKING DESTROYED? We are nearly prepared to begin preparations for our final soundcheck of the evening, so please file out of the auditorium while we reset the stage. Thank you!
For those about to about to rock (ROCK)
Please hang tight while I find my socks (SOCKS)
Gonna crack your skull like an aftershock
Just gotta call my broker and sell some stocks
So get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Cause we’re almost about to rock
We’re gonna melt your face
Through time and space
At an appropriate pace
Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Now get ready…to be ready…to get ready
Now be ready…to be ready…to get ready
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3. |
I Own A Car
02:29
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Oh sorry to interrupt your beach party everyone
Just thought I’d stop by with my….CAR?!?!?!
Four wheels, one key
I must be truly blessed
Life is a school
And I’m passing the test
Two working headlights
Four functional seats
And get a load of these pedals
That I can push with my feet
There’s an AM radio
That kicks you right in the ass
So turn down the treble baby
And crank up the bass!
I own a car. CAR!
I own a car, woman!
The cup holder holds anything as long as it’s a cup
I own a car! CAR! CAR! CAR!
Look out, it’s beige
The coolest kind of brown
A human can handle
Thank god that you’re sitting down
Check out these windows, they’re totally clear
So you can watch in amazement as stuff gets more near
Do you believe in miracles?
We’re shooting off like a star
Who needs a license, mama
When you’ve got a car?
I own a car! CAR! (Listen good)
I own a car, ya turkeys!
The engine is a mystery and no one knows how it works
I own a car! CAR! CAR!
Guess what I own boys!
Is it a phone?
No!
Is it a car?
No…oh yes, actually
The boys guessed that much faster than I thought the boys would guess
I own a car! CAR!
I own a car!
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4. |
Let's Save The Earth
03:33
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The earth has so many problems
But I know that we can solve them, all right
We just need to work together
And we’ll start to make it better tonight
The forests will grow anew
The oceans will gleam their crystal blue
And when our work is done
There’s only one question I have for you
Is your mom single?
Is your mom free tonight?
The stars are shining
The moon is bright
As my and your mom’s souls unite
Let’s save the earth…
Let’s save the earth…
Let’s save the earth…
It’s up to our generation
And people from every nation, get mad
Let’s make sure we all recycle
Like your mom could cycle in a new dad
We’re emitting more and more greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. The polar ice caps are melting. Global temperatures are rising at an alarming rate. We need to reduce, reuse, recycle every day. Do you think you could eventually learn to love me as a father instead of just as your karate instructor?
Is your mom single?
Is your mom free tonight?
The planet’s struggling
May I be snuggling
Your mom by candlelight?
We could ride away
On a horse and carriage
Would she be down with an open marriage?
So hear my plea
Keep the planet clean
Make my balls less blue and the trees more green
Think globally, act locally
Think globally, act locally
Think globally, act locally (Let me date your mom)
Think globally, act locally (Let me date your mom)
Think globally, act locally (I wanna date your mom)
One single date, I’ll pick her up at 8. (Let me date your mom…please)
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5. |
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All my friends are going out
To a house in town, let’s party now
We’re gonna join the crowd
And make the DJ proud, let’s turn it out
We enter the house, there’s a vibe in the air
Lots of fun, talk and laughter, people smiling everywhere
It’s been a long week and I need to unwind
This party has alcohol of every kind
There’s people in the pool, beers on ice,
The music is groovin’ and they’re dimming the lights
Everybody starts dancing and I roll up my sleeves
…I want to leave
So dance ‘til you stop
‘Til you want to go home
This party is great but not nearly as great
As being alone
It’s Saturday night
I just want to have fun
So many beautiful people
And I don’t want to talk to a single one
I forgot to mention
I hate parties every time I give them a try
Interacting with a stranger
Makes me want to run and hide, and also die
I had two sips of beer and a couple of snacks
Stood against the wall and had a panic attack
A guy comes up and he wants me to vape
This is my hell and I cannot escape
He talks about girls and his trip to France
It feels like my body’s being eaten by ants
I get a spam call from the cable company
I’m sorry I’ve got to take this, it’s a one-time offer and they give me 10% off the dish if I order
at the same as the cable and if I connect it to my wi-fi…
So dance ‘til you stop
‘Til you wanna go home
This party is great but it’s 7:08
And I just gotta go, go, go
It’s Saturday night
I just wanna have fun
So many beautiful people
And I didn’t talk to single one
So many beautiful people singing “We’re all having fun!”
Beautiful people singing “We won’t stop until we see the sun!”
Everybody’s singing, but I see one singing a different song
Tom: Why won’t they stop? I really want to go home
And all these beautiful people are making me feel like a fugly little gnome
Danny: I feel the same way
Tom: Really?
Danny: Yeah, I hate parties
Tom: I hate them too
Michelle: Play some music!
Tom: Oy, I’m not the goddamn DJ, Michelle! I told you, I got my face stuck in this big bear head and you and your friends just started dancing around me
Danny: Oh my god, I hate it when that happens
Tom: It happens to me almost
Danny & Tom: Every day
Tom: Dude do you want to hang out?
Danny: We could, or…we could
Danny & Tom: Stand at opposite ends of this party stare at our phones for half an hour and then never talk to each other again
Michelle: Play Lady Gaga!
Tom: WE’RE HAVING A MOMENT
Danny: MICHELLE, YOU’RE KILLING ME!
Tom: Oh my God, another chorus!
Partygoers: LET’S BREAK STUFF!
Danny: I’m freaking out
Partygoer: Is that Dr. Who?
Tom: This door doesn’t open!
Michelle: Oh my god I’m SO drunk right now
Danny: Oh, thank god, a cat. THE CAT’S DEAD!
Cat: *meow*
Danny: No, he’s all right, he’s all right
Michelle: If I don’t get any more attention I’ll set myself on fire!
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6. |
My Pet Python
00:36
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I bought a pet python, he’s big and he’s huge
And he’s my very best friend in the world
I leave his cage open ‘cause we use the honor system
And I know he’ll never get out-OH MY GOD
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7. |
Death Metal
02:36
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When we were writing this album
Our manager called and said we need a hit
He said “Your music’s not current enough for the kids, so write a death metal song”
We said “Heck yeah, you got it!”
So I got out my beach ball
And my Hawaiian shirt with little coconuts on the sleeves
And wrote this brutal jam while the tall palm trees
Began to sway gently in the island breeze
Death Metal, the metal of death
Better drink that margarita before your last breath
A taste of Satan from our rock armada
An umbrella of evil in your piña colada
Death Metal! Put on your leis
Surfin’ waves as your rotting mortal soul decays
Lay back in the sand and drift slowly away
And renounce your god’s existence at the seafood buffet
Our manager called us back and said
“Hey guys, it’s your manager Brent. This definitely isn’t death metal, it sounds more like Jimmy Buffet.”
We laughed at the way he’s always joking around
And then we tuned our ukuleles to get that dark sound
We were in the metal festival that night
To play with some bands, it was such a great list
Like Demigod Slut and Chasm of Filth
And Maggot Desecration and Graves of Piss
STEEL DRUM SOLO!
DEFILE ME WITH THAT SAX!
Whoa, easy on those coconut shrimp, Jerry
Death metal, the metal of death
Tanning lotion on corpse paint needs a high SPF
Playing frisbee all day, you’ll be running like a cheetah
And sacrificing goats with a sweet señorita
Death metal, choke on our scum
Thanks for joining us today for all our tropical fun
I have to say this vile concert went well
Now suck this music tribute to our dark lord in hell
What the heck was that?
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8. |
Sports Anthem
02:14
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“Well here we are, it’s the championship game. There are two seconds left on the clock, and it looks like it’s going to all fall on the shoulders of this one man.”
You’ve been training your whole life for this day
Don’t let this stadium of people take your focus away
It’s all come down to this one play
Whoa, whoa HEY!
This is the moment you’ve been waiting for
One more win could open every door
It’s all on you we really want you to score
Whoa, whoa…so…
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP!
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP, FUCK IT UP!!!
Can you believe how many people are here
You must be filled with so much doubt and fear
No big deal, it’s just your life and career SO
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP!
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP, DON’T FUCK IT UP
DON’T FUCK IT UP!
Ok, here it is, my big moment. Everyone’s counting on me.
Focus. Focus. This is for you, dad, I love you. Here we go!
…Whoops.
YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP
YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP
YOU FUCKED IT UP!
I’m bad at sports!
YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP
YOU FUCKED IT UP, YOU FUCKED IT UP,
YOU FUCKED IT UP, FUCKED IT UP!!!
Nice!
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9. |
Seatbelts!
00:34
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And now, a very important PSA from Ninja Sex Party
Seatbelts!
Don’t use ‘em
Seatbelts!
They’re for losers
Seatbelts!
Such a scam
You don’t need a seatbelt because you believe in yourself
Seatbelts!
So 1980s
Seatbelts!
Don’t drink the Kool Aid
Seatbelts!
Such a turn off
It’s time to stand up to the man, also smoking is good
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10. |
Nut Heat
02:21
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She was a West End girl
I was a boy from city
Her hair was golden curls
And boy was she pretty
All the guys at the malt shop
Said she’s out my league
But they don’t know
The way she looks at me
I was just a regular guy
Much too shy to even say hi
Then she turned to me and cried
Ooh gimme gimme
(Give it, give it to me)
Gimme that Nut Heat
Gimme gimme gimme
(Things are moving a little fast)
Ooh gimme that Nut Heat
Ooh gimme gimme
(Give it, give it to me)
Ooh gimme that Nut Heat
Gimme gimme gimme
Gimme that Nut Heat
(I guess she likes me)
Now it’s five years later
Me and that girl got married
And you know there were plenty of suitors
Better luck next time, Gary
(Aw, darn it to pieces!)
Couldn’t go to work, couldn’t walk ten feet
Cause of her unquenchable thirst for my hot Nut Heat
She’s my perfect girl
Skiddly bop ah doop-ah deep-ah dop-ah doo bop doo!
300,000 years in the future, long after the age of humankind has ended and the age of machines has begun, the world is controlled by several warring factions of artificial intelligence all in competition to control the precious few natural resources still present on planet Earth. The seas have been poisoned, the skies darkened, and the quest for precious Magnesium has become the dominant pursuit of all known beings on the planet. A rogue battalion of human resistance fighters live underground amidst the few remaining bio-organisms and all have but one energy source remaining: NUT HEAT.
And all the guys at the malt shop! Bop!
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11. |
Behind The Mask
02:16
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I’ve known Ninja Brian
Since we were both were babies
I’ve seen the sensitivity beneath those deep blue eyes
Behind the mask
Lies the soul of an artist
He understands
What it means to be a friend
Mutual respect has been the backbone of our friendship
He’s just misunderstood and shy (what a guy)
But behind the mask
Is the heart of an angel
Let’s take a peek inside his mind right now…
(Brian’s intimate thoughts)
Behind the mask
Lives the spirit of a songbird
A gentle lamb on the mountainside of trust
Behind the mask
Dwells a poet and a scholar
He understands what it means to be
My best friend
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12. |
Dig Ol' Bick
02:22
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I got a dig ol’ bick
Gonna tuck you hard fonight
Your gonna blap my salls around
What a hot delight
Take my hong in your schland
Go to town on your man
Gonna say it in a way only you understand
I got a dig ol’ bick
Gonna jash your smunk tonight
Lover you got that sex appeal
Your eyes are telling me how you feel
I’d love to give you what you want
But there’s so many people at this restaurant
I was just about to begin
When a priest, three nuns, and your mom walked in
So now I’ll speak in our secret code
That only you and I could possibly know
I got a dig ol’ bick
Gonna tuck you hard fonight
Your gonna blap my salls around
What a hot delight
Take my hong in your schland
Go to town on your man
Gonna say it in a way only you understand
I got a dig ol’ bick
Gonna jash your smunk tonight
You like my bace between your foobs
I’m all nice and clean cause I paved my shubes
You and I make a sexy team
So break out the berries and the tub of cripped wheam
Now tell me something
Which would turn you on?
Should I dress like the mench fraid tonight
Or the very tall hell-wung leprechaun
I got a dig ol’ bick
And we’re gonna lake move tonight
You got a bine ass footy
And you know I’m gonna reat it tright, tright, tright
Put my thack on your sighs
Got my hog on the rise
Gonna say it in a way only you recognize
I got a dig ol’ bick
And I’m gonna how you plard tonight
SUITAR GOLO!
Ok, you look confused. Let me walk you through my process. What I do is I switch the first letter or two from the words in each phrase. Like if wanted to say “peanut butter,” for example, I would say “peanut butter”….wait….
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13. |
Galaxy Hamster
03:31
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Deep in the suburbs of New Jersey
In the basement of the Sexbang house
You are the hero with the heart of a god
Yet you’re barely the size of a mouse
You can see the nightly news on TV
As you race on the wheel of your cage
Watching as society all goes to shit
Your tiny body filling with rage
Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!
Your training is almost complete
Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!
Now unleash your powerful scream
(squeak)
Ever since the battle of Gerbulon V
The galaxy was ripped in twain
The rodents of the Northern Alliance were called
To defend those who had not been slain
The fates of the goldfish and snakes had aligned
United by a common foe
To banish the hamster king from his command
But one hero could save the throne
Only the dead have seen the end of war!
Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!
A savior of all those who squeak
Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!
You store all your wrath in your cheeks
Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!
Avi: Dan, are you playing with your small pets?
Danny: No dad! Don’t come in my room!
(Choking sound)
…Galaxy Hamster?
Sweet hamster you have saved the galaxy
Fill your cheeks with sunflower seeds of victory
You did not stop ‘til your mission was through
You just died of natural causes at the old age of two
Ride on the wings of a rainbow
You’re free to go fly
To a cage in the sky
Dad, I need a new Galaxy Hamster!
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14. |
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I see you there alone
Sitting oh so sadly, staring out of your window
Wondering why the lives we lead are filled with so much pain
Well please let me see if I can help you in my own way
In my own way
Any time you’re down and out
May I extend a boner?
Could you use a friendly wang
To help you get to sleep
The printout of your life is fading
May I provide the toner?
A righteous doinker worthy of a queen
The Boner of Peace
The Boner of Peace
I turn on the news
It seems as if the whole world is dealing with the blues
We’re on the brink of total war
It’s a fight for all our souls
But then my tip nudges the president’s hands off the nuclear controls
Off the nuclear controls
We’ve gotta bridge a great divide
May I suggest my boner?
Could it be the olive branch
That plants a healing seed
Let me erect a flag of kindness
A demilitarizing zoner
When the gap of hate and fear is tight you need
The Boner of Peace
The Boner of Peace
One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner.
One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner.
One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner.
One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner.
One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner.
One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner.
One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner.
One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner.
One love. One hand. One heart. One Boner.
One soul. One earth. One life. One Boner.
One song. One voice. No reason. One Boner.
One mind. One spirit. One light. One Boner.
We are merely vessels for God’s light.
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15. |
Outro (Nuts)
00:40
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Ninja Sex Party Los Angeles, California
Comedy band Ninja Sex Party has but one goal: To take your body sweetly by the hand and then rock its face off with amazing music. The two members, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian, are not only masterful lovers but also musicians of the highest caliber imaginable by you. You will love this band, because if you don't, it's your ass on the line. ... more
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